...

It has been this way for so long. It's not that easy.

To think I'd actually managed to convince myself that I was fine. I even analysed everything in my head logically.. Now that it's really happening, I find myself back at square one - confused all over again.

I asked myself, time and again, just what is it that I really want. What is it that I deserve.

I think my main problem now is, I have no clue as to what I want. And even if I did, I don't think I'd have the courage to just let go of what I have, and move forward. Nope..I'm comfy at where I am. I'm still within my comfort zone. It's been years, and I can't find it in me to just walk away.

I need to walk out of it; take that first step, I know. But I honestly can't even think about taking that first step. It's so foreign it's scaring me. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Sigh. Stupid me.